The 3 stages of life. The holy trinity. The three musketeers. If you believe in the lucky number 3, you catch the drift. Throughout history, it has been considered a unique significant number. It represents harmony, wisdom, and understanding and when it comes to sex, it is the most common sexual fantasy according to research for both men and women.
From Mariah Carey to Cardi B, sex and in particular, three-ways have been sung about a dime dozen. A mènage à trios is a true daydream for most of us but do we know how to do it right?
Let's begin with the basics: a threesome or a three-way is a sexual activity that involves three people at the same time. People meaning threesomes are done by everyone, gays, bi's, everyone in and outside the alphabet, from strangers, to friends, to acquaintances, to single people, to couples, or partially within couples who seek strangers or other relationship dynamics as the third party. In fact, couples love three ways so much that they have a name for the third person, unicorns.
How to set up a 3 -way
Once you have an interest in having a threesome how do you get one? Here you need your decisive power exercised, do you want it with a stranger or someone you already know? Is your partner aware, if there is one, tell them you want one and maybe why is it for fun or you want to open up your relationship? This is a hard conversation that can be had easily with an open mind.Â
Only when you have a go-ahead from your partner here is what to keep in mind:
Consent is such an important aspect when it comes to having threesomes. This can either be with your partner and a third, strangers who are adventurous, or even friends who just want to have fun and be kinky with each other. Remember consent can be withdrawn at any point of action and it is fine.
Precautions to consider before having a threesome include; talking about boundaries and expectations beforehand and being sure to check in afterward to make sure it went well, choosing your third carefully taking into account your safety as a couple, and communicating constantly with both people all the time. If you want to have a threesome but don’t have a partner or friends to have it with, you can use apps to find like-minded people. In this case, avoid sharing personal information like where you work or live before getting to know the person well. If apps don't work for you, get yourself out there and be open to meeting people and having audacious conversations with them, could be at the club(maybe find a wingman for this) to get unicorns or help in taking conversation in the right direction.Â
So with that in mind, the next step is to meet them first for coffee or lunch before the actual threesome date. This is a rule of thumb, get acquainted and put all the cards on the table. Does not matter where you got them from either on an app, the friend circle, at the bar, or at the gym. Have a sit down with them and negotiate terms. From how you like to be touched, are drugs involved downright to health status and safe words? When all conversations have been had and consent has been given, you can meet in a neutral space like a hotel or an Airbnb and ensure you send your location to people you trust to ensure your security especially when meeting strangers( when alone).
If you are the one hosting, ensure your guests are entertained with enough food, drinks, and water for hydration, and for the fun part provide lubes, sex toys, or porn that could inspire 3-way positions or build up desire. If kinks is in the menu, fetish paraphernalia that was agreed upon beforehand should be present too.
Lastly, having a safe word of your choice is also very important when having a threesome; this guides the pleasure of all the involved parties and ensures no one is aggrieved in the process. A safe word is a code word used by people to communicate their physical or emotional state especially when almost crossing a boundary. Remember to be ease, threesomes taste better without inhibitions. In case nerves reach out for that thing that grounds you could be music, or weed gummies just to take the edge off and make sure you are present to enjoy yourself fully.
A bonus; Red flags to look out for;
Couples who are not on the same page with each other one seems to want it more than the other.
Jealousy feelings between a couple.
Different motives may not be a good sign.
Too much alcohol/drugs blurs out consent, it is simply not advised.
Don't skip the meet up before the actual threesome, other red flags could come up too.