Going downtown can be a little intimidating for anyone! But it is a great arsenal in your (sexual) pleasure play. So if you are thinking of giving/receiving, looking to improve your head game, or even expanding your pleasure basket—this information is for you!
Giving head is a sexual act of performing oral sex on someone, where the D or the C meets M. Oral sex involves the stimulation of either the penis or the vulva of a person by another person using the mouth or the throat. It is commonly done as foreplay to incite sexual arousal before penetrative sex, but it can also be the main pleasure activity after light foreplay, like sexting. Let's get down to the hacks, tips, tricks, licks, and sucks involved in giving head. These subtext rules are applied when partners have agreed with giving and receiving conditions and boundaries.
1. Do Tell
There is nothing like overcommunication when it comes to anything sexual. Communication lets both parties explain how they like receiving and giving pleasure, making things clear and transparent. You get to understand your partner’s dos and don’ts, what they would like to explore, what they are into, and what their turn-ons and offs are. Are they healthy? Are you healthy? Preventive measures? Do they like it smooth? Wet? With a little bit of canines? Knowing such information gives you a road map and stipulates the limit of how far you can go together. These conversations should be had by all parties involved before the act, don’t go in blind. Discuss your limits, safe words, and set boundaries.
A blow job or clit job is hard to replicate unlike penetrative sex. It is another experience altogether but still gives you the pleasure of a warm tongue, a wet mouth and lips to work with. To get into it, you would want to clean it, sometimes, we may not get to plan out these things, but no one wants to put anything dirty in their mouth, now unless they like it. Wipe it clean with wipes or rinse it with clean water in the bathroom. If you are home, I suggest a shower. Make it sensual by wiping down that D or the vulva with a warm towel and giving it a good massage.
This helps in relaxation, and improves circulation, for women, it makes their clit very sensitive and keeps your partner excited about what is to come. A dry mouth is also something you want to avoid by hydrating often. Keep a glass of water nearby. Don't forget your contraception of choice!
3. Add some Fun
Tap into the five senses: touch, sight, taste and smell. Explore other parts while you are down there, the tongue is such an underrated tool that not only can someone lick but the tip of the tongue can be used to trace the outlines of the head and frenulum—the underside where the penis head (if circumcised) meets the shaft.
This works too for the vulva, using the tip to circle around the lips to the tip of the clitoris down to the perineum and the anal area. Tongue tricks are also very much welcome here and you can persist when your partner gives you the go-ahead (verbal or non-verbal cues).
To maximize sensation you may play with temperatures, from ice cold to steamy hot just how your partner(s) likes it. Seek to explore pleasure around nearby parts, touching/licking/smacking the balls. The vulva owners may enjoy touch too with your hands, maybe a light spanking. The visual is also sexy, therefore positions are important, your partner can lie on the bed and you position yourself beside giving him/her/they a full view and access. Do they love to praise kink, try to place yourselves in front of a mirror having your partner against the wall and you kneeling in front of your partner—trying different spots of the room. This gives a voyeurism kink vibe that stimulates more sensual sex.
4. Bring the Party!
Now, just because it's not penetrative does mean don’t bring out the toys but it’s the more reason to! Take out your sex box or make use of what you have for your pleasure, for example, vibrators, clit teasers, penis rings, and anal toys! Again this maximizes the sensation of the senses, it is an opportunity to tap into your fantasies and fetishes you may wish to explore with each other. You may add impact play, knife play, and role-play among many other kinks that both agree with you.
5. Play Safe!!
One sure way of having the best sex is having safe sex. Remember sex is not equal to penetrative sex and oral sex is as real as it gets! Condomize and lube up! We have an assortment of sex playthings to aid in spicing up your head game from edible lubes to edible condoms.
Use safe words or actions: did you consent to hair pulling? Deep-throating? Is there aftercare? These contingencies are communicated in the very beginning before getting down to business. Three words: Safe, Fun, and Sexy!
1.Say the word ‘purple’ that opens your mouth to let in the shaft of the penis with ease.
2. Be curious and explore the margins, length, texture,shape of the penis and/or vulva.
3.Practice with ice pops, and lollipops to enhance your gag reflex.
4.Think about licking an ice-cream cone.
5.Think pleasure, not orgasm.
6. Keep eye contact if you can.
7. Play with temperature.
8. Be comfortable first.
Plugs: @Teleza_ke, @gspotkenya